Translation of Fahrstuhlmusik in German-English

My name is Michael Jonsan and I am working with Swiss and German companies through the chamber of commerce, mainly in the bio and pharmaceutical markets. I hope that we can learn languages together.
After that I expect that you do the same. Write me a text in English and the same translated to Spanish. This way we will learn all directions. We will be able to compare the texts and learn.
To be honest, we did not understand one word of what he was saying, because his English was so terrible. Or maybe it wasn't and it was only his accent which we could not grasp. To us it was Chinese.