Translation of rückblickend

I hope you could understand my last letter to you. You see, when I write in Spanish I am not very confident. I always question myself and each and every sentence takes about fifteen minutes.
I think that subconsciously she means that her pregnancy has become a white eleph. But even though she compares her pregnancy with the large, grey animal a moment later she regrets it and says it.
She was a very cute twenty six year old woman from the area, had a perfect English and could be understood well. She told us to put on good shoes and we started walking towards the valley.