Translation of incompetence in German

I don't remember exactly what we did there, all I remember was that there was some show including a snake and a Janasene tourist agreed to have the snake on her neck. I almost fainted just by watching.
There were too many of these children and they were determined to sell us a can of Coca Cola. All means were legitimate, even shaking our boat, so that we would be scared of falling into the water.
We caught the last bus leaving from Calama to San Pedro the Atacama in the Atacama desert, the driest place on earth. Even NASA is using this place as a live moon simulation area. It was night though.