Translation of satirical in German

Once inside, not waiting in line, and not paying, our new friend took us to the VIP balcony. Our old friends did not understand how we organized all this so quickly and neither did we (to be honest).
First we got some lunch which was the first normal experience on that day. Then we were told to take a boat. A fisherman and his young daughter were rowing and we continued on the river.
The next day we had the feeling that the worst of our altitude thickness was over and decided to take the local bus to the Sacred Valley, a key area of settlement to the Incas.