Translation of Bauchweh

I will put that one and the offending words. These words should not be optional, cause we need to know when a word is offending. Would it be helpful to have a counter, so you see how many words you translated?
I wanted to post a comment to your blog, and just after this email there was the power outage - so I am sending here the full original email once again. And thank you for your kind words.
Why did you sit on the box? You obviously did not know that there were presents inside. Now, seriously, do you have a backup plan? We must buy new gifts if we want to go to the party.?