Translation of Stabwanze

I mean every thief becomes excited if he sees such a stupid tourist as I was. Some little children, I think that they were from xyz origin, came to me and offered me a newspaper and asked for money.
Ohhh, I love San Francisco and I would love living there too, except that it is further away than Michigan (for us). Good luck anyway. I wanted to share some of Mika's images too, send you email soon.
Luckily for him, his wife stood by him and explained that he was clumsy and that would happen to him all the time. Anyway, it none of our business. We all had dinner afterwards and went to sleep.